I am in f+@#$%^ PAIN

and that is all there is to it.

Rain, Rain, and more Rain

I did nothing physically strenuous, I got dress, put my shoes on drove to Myrtle Creek and had the truck loaded with manure to make tea for the garden, I did not lift a thing., then drove home.
I vacuumed, in preparation for my daughter who was coming to visit. By the time I finished I was down for the count, and went to bed with pain meds on board.
The kids came about 4 hours later by that time, I was get out of bed and do my cooking exercises. which is a combination of stand ten minutes, sit ten minutes. I made quick dishes no need to stand too long.
We had a great visit, good dinner. I love cooking for my daughter and her boyfriend Jeff because they enjoy my cooking.

The day after

Yesterday, I worked in the yard weeding, transplanting, nothing I thought was strenuous, because I forget about the walking, bending and digging. Most of the time I was on my knees because it feels comfortable, I tried to squat but my feet start to feel like their concrete blocks and begin to hurt ( I will have to buy some knee pads).  I find myself restructuring myself physically in order to do the most basic things. Finally I could not fight it anymore and had to take some narcs (Narcotics) Which put my brain in a cloud. It feels like living in a perpetual fog. I read in the print out that came with prescriptions and check it online at www.drugs.com/vicodin  A combination of Acetaminophen and hydrocodone. It really is imperative to read those handouts, I never did it before, but as my pain increased and  the changes I had to make to adjust to that pain, peaked my curiosity, I decided I really needed to know what was going on with the narcs in my body. First I found out how ridiculously stupid I was for not reading the info. Second  I found out I am in deep shit. There is no upside to narcs, well they can get you to heaven sooner depending on your use, especially if you are prone to addiction.  Trust me, you know if you are. There are these little truths we know about ourselves that we won't admit to, and I am sure something just popped into your head and a little voice is saying "She is so right". This is not about me being right, this is about accepting facts based on your own truths.
Back to the medications. I did not know what the numbers on my prescriptions meant, let me give you a little rundown if you already know this skip this post.
Vicodin, "norco, lortab, lorcet, zydone, and anexia are all different brand names of various companies for combos of hydrocodone and acetametophen. all brands come in 5, 7.5 and 10 mg doses of hydro, and all have varying amounts of Tylenol, from 325 to 760mg, depending on the brand. Most of these brands also have generic equivalents, and some have the exact same doses of both drugs, varying only in the binders and fillers that make up the pill." from www.drugs.com/forum/general 
my particular prescription was 5/325 meaning it had 5 mg of hydro and 325 mg of tylenol.  I also took Hydrocodone by itself due to severe pain but they made me sick I had to stop taking them.
I also have Norco FYI (NORCO is the highest single tablet dose of Hydrocodone Bitartrate with the lowest level of Acetaminophen of all 10 mg Hydrocodone combination products indicated for the relief of moderate to moderately severe pain.) I don';t touch it unless I am in bed and ready for sleep and take it on a full stomach.  I have not experienced this medication while awake because I hate being in a fog or drug up and knowing I am drugged up.
I will have to write again soon,, the fog is coming in, I can't generate a complete thought.

The price of my pain

I pay for my pain on a daily basis, sometimes I pay in monetary terms, like paying someone to do my yard work for me.  Then there are the times when it cost me just time itself. I watch it slipping by me very slowly.
How can a person occupy time sitting down?  Even if I am doing something because it is not what I want to do at that moment it feels like wasted time.

Pain, Exactly what color are you?

I wish there was a way to see Pain.  You know the look you get when you tell someone your in pain, before they ask where? I can see the disbelief in their faces.  Especially if they don't know me.  I have been living with back pain for as long as could remember. Manageable with Ibuprofen, Tylenol or an occasional Vicodin,  sometimes several glasses of wine (any type of alcohol will do).

Things have changed now. The pain has become unbearable, Alcohol just get's me woozie and won't let me sleep, Vicodin just masked the pain for a short period of time.  My doctor recently upgraded my pain pills to Norco.  I should give you some background of how I got to this point and a little of what I was doing before this point.

In 2008 I woke up one morning and tried to get up to a sitting position before getting off the bed, not uncommon for me because I know, I have a bad back.  I placed my right foot on the floor and proceeded to get up.  Only the floor came to me instead.  Pain like I never knew or met before shot from the bottom of my foot to my lower back hovered there a little then proceeded out of my brain, leaving behind residue of its action.  Not to mention I landed on my ass which hurt like hell.

I know, I know what do you mean it left residue? You see it never really left my body I just felt it all through my body. For the next several days I was miserable and laden with pain.  It did not go away, I felt it from the Rectus Femoris muscle (the anterior muscle of the thighs) to the lower back.  In my case front of the right leg.

I was unable to put any weight on my right leg, nor bend over,or stand up tall,  all I could do was sit on my ass.

I know you may think that is a good thing but actually it's not, because the physical act of getting up was excruciating, and trust me standing sucked too. enough for now more tomorrow.